Vasculitis Humor

By Dianne Shaw, 2006

You know you have vasculitis when:

• Any conversation can suddenly turn into a round of "Charades".
• A "good hair day" is when you realize you have some left.
• You tell your kid to "clean up the floor" and they just get the broom out and start sweeping.
• You make a grocery list so you won't forget anything, and then forget where you put the list. (On a REALLY bad day you also forget where the grocery store is!)
• You bathe the lawn, fertilize the dog, and brush the kids.
• You use the smoke detector to tell you when dinner is done.
• You try to type and discover that you've invented a whole new language.
• You keep sunscreen by every door.
• Getting some fresh air means sitting near an open shady window.
• You have a temperature and moisture-controlled room for keeping your large quantity of meds.
• You're the only one who believes you're THAT sick.
• You sit in the car for three hours wondering what you needed to do, not even sure where you are.
• Someone asks you what vasculitis is and you've forgotten.
• It takes so long to get one project done, because in the meantime you've been distracted by at least a million other things.
• You put the ice cream in the cupboard (and then wonder why somebody else did something THAT stupid).
• You know every doctor, nurse, within 50 miles of your home - AND you've financed most of their vacations.
• The pharmacist sees you coming down the aisle and doesn't even have to ask your name.
• You decide to buy stock in pharmaceutical companies (because you buy their products so much they ought to make lots of money) but you can't afford to invest (for the same reason).